The Abundance Mindstate: 3 Months Without Income (Experiment)

When the word abundance comes up, it's often in reference to financial prosperity.  Understandable, being that there's so much collective momentum around seeing the middle man, money, as the key to the abundance lock.  But is it really? 


What if money has just been a permission slip to experience our desires, and isn't actually the key to abundance?  What if true abundance is not seeing an abundance of things, but rather seeing all things from an abundant mentality?


What is the difference between the mentality of the poor who strive to make money and the rich who fear losing it? The differences lie only in the outer manifestations, but in the mentality there is still the foundational basis of a belief in or a perception of lack.  Lack is fundamentality limiting and anytime one focuses on limitation even if it's just subconsciously, one will experience that no matter what was created with the belief.  All manifestations are neutral and experienced relatively.  


Money and Abundance


Though money can be experienced abundantly, it is not equal to abundance.


If you want proof, think of all of the amazing things in your life that you have or have experienced that you didn't pay for?  If you want to take this exercise even deeper, think about the fact that everything your money has paid for came from within someone's mind.  Money wasn't the first step to creating it, human consciousness was.  


Think of it this way, the universe is like a mirror.  Everything we look out and see, is described internally by the paradigms, truths, and perspectives that we've assumed up until this moment.  When we look at a tree, we see a tree.  But a tree doesn't call itself that, we do.  We see a tree and also every definition, implication, and thought we've ever attached to that tree even if our definition isn't the totality of the tree's existence. 


Similarly, we see the universe as an abundant or lacking place depending on how we perceive life.  The universe reflects back to us what we are being, and because there is no shortage of our ability to be what we are, there's no shortage of the reflection of it.  


By having the ability to exist, we automatically have the ability to tap into our existence in an unlimited way.  So, why doesn't everyone do this already?  Simply put, because most don't know that they can or how to proceed.  It's just not a part of our collective conditioning and fabric...yet.  


How does one tap into unlimited existence?  The simplest way I've found to do it, is to allow the inherent wellbeing of presence to flow through my awareness.  In other words, the unconditional joy that comes from a present acceptance of the ever unfolding perfection of life.  As one sits in present acceptance of existence, everything that existence includes is also accepted, namely all present known and unknown desires.


Sounds awesome in theory, but integrating this understanding requires practical application.  Aside from the fact that I've experienced abundance in so many ways already, (parking spaces right up front everywhere I go, passive income, etc.) I recently decided to test this theory of mine in a really immersive way.  I burned the boats, so to speak.


Burning the Boats


For three months last year, I gave up every bit of income I had.  Yes, you read that correctly.  I still had bills and responsibilities, which I didn't give up, just the income.  I did this for two reasons, one was to focus on some things in my spiritual practice that were really exciting me and two, it just wasn't fun for me at that moment to continue the work I was doing for money.  So I gave it up.  I knew that if my beliefs were true and the universe were really able to reflect me infinitely, I would have no problem continuing to experience wellbeing and prosperity aside from the income I'd let go of.  My reality was based on me, not the work I did to pay my bills.  I knew that if I could believe my bills would be paid, they would be.


I understand how this could be considered a bold move, but for me, it was pretty obvious and effortless.  I don't suggest trying this at home unless you genuinely feel that way.  


The first month  was a complete free fall.  The only thing I did was wake up everyday and ask myself "What is exciting me today?"  The idea behind this practice is that when tapping into excitement and joy, I am able to experience wellbeing as my inherent reality and not tied to anything but my ability to focus on it. 


One thing I noticed was that everything I felt drawn to create or engage in, I always had the money or resources that I needed to do it.  I never felt inspired to do something that didn't flow naturally and with excitement.  Needless to say, after a certain point funds started to get low.  But I'd already internalized what I now know as the general principles of the abundance mindstate, so I didn't feel like my experience of abundance was low.


The principles are:


  1. I am connected to everything.
  2. Everything is possible.
  3. Everything I desire is flowing to me all the time.


At the end of the first month on one morning, I woke up to an email from a bank I'd never heard of before, saying how valued I was as a customer of theirs, etc.  I called them and asked why I'd received this email.  They told me I had an portfolio with them with a balance totaling almost $8,000!  I couldn't believe it, because I didn't even remember signing up for anything.  Pretty stunned, I told them to send me a check for the full amount.  I almost thought it was a joke, but they sent it!  I deposited the check no less than three days after receiving their email.  Even though I knew I'd be taken care of, it still amazed me how perfectly the universe came through.


The next unexpected check came at a moment that I couldn't have "needed" it more.  I was moving out of the apartment I'd lived in for 4 years and had so many moving expenses and obligations.  Again, I genuinely believed I'd be taken care of no matter what.  I was right, and about a week after my move, I received an unexpected check from a company I'd overpaid many months prior to the tune of $3,200!  


At this point, I knew that I'd truly internalized the abundance mindstate.  Not only because I'd continually manifested the money I needed to live and thrive for three months, but because I rarely questioned how things would work out, I just understood that they would.  I ended up re-creating steady income, effortlessly of course, and compiled the key observations I made during this 90 day period. 



Observations From The Abundance Mindstate


  1. I am connected to everything.  Nothing exists apart from me.
  2. Whatever I want now, is always flowing to me now.  If the manifestation is not here, it's because I don't need it yet or I am learning something to help me to accept it. A good question to ask is "What is this situation trying to teach me?"
  3. The second a contrast is identified so is the desire. If the desire isn't resisted, it's manifested.
  4. Manifestation is the result of energetic momentum, energy follows thought, and I can choose one thought over another.  Therefore, I can create because I have the ability to choose which thoughts I give my focus.  
  5. My existence contains everything I want to see created.  If I accept my existence by being present and tuned into my most expansive perspectives (joy, bliss, gratitude, peace), I am actively creating everything I desire.
  6. Abundance is a flow, not a stash.  Abundance flows through me, in and out.  I don't need to hold onto anything, because everything is available to me that I need as I need it.  As I feel inspired to give, it doesn't mean that my abundance is decreasing, because abundance isn't tied to what I have, it's tied to what I am.
  7. Give from overflow.  I don't have to give in a particular way if I don't want to or feel inspired to.  If I give, knowing that I will feel lack afterwards, I've created the same situation that existed before I gave- someone in need.
  8. I am only ever inspired in the direction of things I can create with what I have access to, both known and unknown.  If I genuinely want to experience something, I have everything I need where I am to make it happen. 
  9. Life is about appreciating the process of becoming.  The best feeling in the world is knowing what I want and knowing that it's flowing to me simultaneously.  
  10. My dreams and desires are here because I co-created them with the world. They are simultaneously my highest excitement and what the world is calling forth from me to continue its momentum into and more loving and connected reality. The world needs and desires my dreams to crystallize so that we can all see more of what's possible.


Abundance is a Perspective, Not A Number


Of the revelations that occurred to me, the most interesting was that I wasn't actually trying to manifest money at all during this period of time.  I didn't care about having a number in my account or paper in my wallet.  I was excited to feel the immense comfort and joy that came with being free and abundantly creative.  Instead of asking how much abundance I could get, I was in the mindstate of asking how much abundance I could give.  The more value I offered, (excitement, joy, abundance, gratitude) the more value that came back. 


If you're experiencing pain points around money, it can actually sometimes be counterintuitive to keep revisiting the thought of money all the time.  If you fill yourself up with joy, you have the chance to see how abundantly that joy can be reflected back to you.


Once I understood that joy wasn't attached to money, only my willingness to focus on joyful perspectives, money began flowing effortlessly.  Why?  Because nothing inhibits creative flow like attachment to outcomes (neediness).  


Money is neutral and can be created from any state of being, but if you decide to create it from outside of the abundance mindstate you may find yourself never having enough of it, hoarding it in a scarcity mentality, or just simply not ever feeling fulfilled.    For example, take every lottery winner who quantum leaped into wealth and prosperity without shifting their perspectives of lack, and ended up worse off than before they won the lottery.  Or the people who have hoards of money and have experienced so much that nothing excites them anymore and they are left unfulfilled. 


See this Telegraph article about the shockingly common phenomena of wealthy people who become depressed after attaining success, here.  The article quotes Jane Powell, the chief executive of Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) "External success is not linked with internal contentment at all. We repeatedly see huge highs followed, inevitably, by dramatic lows. Once you gain that achievement you so ardently wished for, the question is: what next? What was it all for? Was it worth it? Did it mean anything? What can I do now, is that me done?"


Remember this, YOU ARE THE ONLY THING YOU NEED.  That's it. Repeat this to yourself over and over if you have to. Even when you've created everything you want in the physical, you are still expanding into a new physical arrangement to better serve your mind and soul expansion.  It's never finished. 

Your experience of yourself can never lack anything, it's as infinite as your ability to perceive. After a certain point in the journey of creating yourself, your personal desires start to run out and you are left with only the desire to give everything you are.  This moment is the moment you sit with your existence and know that you are already fulfilled, it's all already done.  At that moment all that's left to do is to assist your other selves in experiencing this awareness as well.  You have always been the abundance you've been seeking.  After all, you've only ever been after a feeling, and that feeling is already inside of you. 

Happy New Year! 2018!

For those of you who are still standing and dreaming at the end of 2017:

The process you are in is not black and white, it's layered and multi-dimensional. Thank you for being patient with yourself as it unravels to reveal itself to you.

The love and connection you desire to feel is within you guiding you to love yourself more and more all the time so that you can see more reflections of this love around you. Thank you for choosing to love yourself even when it's been hard. You are love and deserve as much of it as you can hold in your heart.

The abundance you are seeking is the infinite amount of consciousness/potential you have access to. If you exist where you are, everything you need to reflect your existence back to you also exists where you are as well. Thank you for giving abundantly, thank you for loving abundantly, thank you for being abundantly.

Your dreams and desires are here because you co-created them with the world. They are simultaneously your highest excitement and what the world is calling forth from you to continue its momentum into and more loving and connected reality. Thank you for starting to work on your dreams, thank you for continuing to work on your dreams. The world needs and desires your dreams to crystallize so that we can all see more of what's possible.

Thank you for your willingness to live, even when it's hard to understand why certain things are happening around you. Thank you for listening to the voice within you that you know loves you more than you can understand. Thank you for expressing yourself, loving yourself, healing yourself, creating yourself, and BEING yourself. None of us could do what you came here to do. Thank you and I love you 

Happy 2018 my loves!

Why I Used Makeup To Get In Touch With My Dark Side

"Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it." Andy Warhol said this, and he's right.


Anything and everything can be seen as beautiful because it's the perceiver who ultimately decides what is worthy of love and what isn't.  As an Empowerment Teacher, I am always looking to expand my perception and experience of life into a more inclusive and holistic picture so that I can reflect more love and light back to humanity.  This process includes looking at my shadows as they arise and facing them with love- or as some would say "shadow work".


I don't typically have a ‘shadow work’ practice that I sit down and do every week or month.  Rather I've found that when I am regularly choosing higher frequency thoughts on the basis love or excitement, momentum takes over and requires me to release more and more fear/limitation to sustain the flow of positive energy.


It's a natural process for me and has been for roughly the past 3 years.  With each paradigm shifting expansion, I come to greater understanding of myself and deeper experiential realization of the infinite nature of existence. One such realization occurred recently when I decided that I wanted to dress up for Halloween. 


The only challenge was that by the time I'd made the decision to do so it was already the week of Halloween and I hadn't purchased a costume or even thought of what I'd like to dress up as.  Also, in true millennial fashion, I didn't feel like leaving my house.


I sat for a few moments in presence based awareness and let in a flow of inspiration.  AHA!  I'll create a character with make-up!


I began looking around on Youtube for inspiration and came across a video of Youtuber Emma Cervin made-up as a creepy clown.  I watched, decided the look was simple enough to try, and I got into my creative flow.


I don't consider myself to be a professional makeup artist, but I'm very creative.  I loved the finished product almost as much as I enjoyed the process of creating the look itself.  


Interestingly enough it wasn't the ease of application that surprised me the most, it was the energy that began arising in my personality by simply wearing a new face.  Wearing creepy face paint had given me a permission slip to embody a persona that I would never normally bring out to play.  I began to take mental notes about this energy that had been living in my subconscious all this time.  She was rude, vain, bold, rebellious, and in one word a brat!  


What my Halloween makeup afforded me was an opportunity to see beauty, validity, and light in my darkness.  The careful blending of light and dark hues I used to create a face of makeup, acted an externalization of my inner process.


The following day, I felt significantly lighter and less judgmental around the person who I'd met the day before.  I've always known that my ego would whisper thoughts like the shadow I'd met, but seeing the shadow aspect in the light of day felt like I'd taken much more of my power back from it.  My shadowy trait was being transmuted with the energy of fun, creativity, and humor.


I was inspired to do the same exercise the next day, and the day after that, and again the day after that.  Each day leading up to Halloween (four days cumulatively) I channeled a makeup look reflecting a facet of my shadow self.  Each day the process was the same: Sit in presence, receive inspiration, act on creating the inspired look, and embody the shadow with love.  


One thing I know for sure, it's that darkness is only darkness if we refuse to shine our light on it.  Most of the time refusal means resisting looking at our shadows because of judgment or fear.  I've learned from looking at many of my most vulnerable aspects with presence and love that love and light are always more powerful.


Each persona I brought to the surface was distinctly different, but all allowed me to see more clearly certain gifts that were being overshadowed by fear.  


What I Learned

1. "The Brat" and her judgmental nature taught me that it's not others judging me that hurts, what hurts is when I'm not able to love and accept myself in the presence of it.  I was able to integrate more love and compassion for myself and others.



2. "Smile Through It", taught me about the desire I have to be vulnerable and show my truest and most authentic self at all times via the egoic need to maintain a facade.   Love doesn't always appear amiably, sometimes it reflects back to others exactly what they need to see for them to move forward.  

skull face.jpg


3. "Revenge of the Fairy Queen" taught me about the immense desire I have to take ownership of my vibration and to act consciously instead of reacting unconsciously.  I recognized the importance of pre-emptively choosing my state of being, so that I'm not caught off guard by unconscious conditioning when it arises.



4.  "Alien Visitor" taught me that even though I feel alien to this world sometimes, it's not an excuse to alienate myself from other beings.  It's an opportunity to learn about our commonalities and to co-create a bright and beautiful future!



The gifts hidden in fear aren't always obvious, but sometimes placing the fear outside of ourselves in a creative and fun way can make seeing and processing the unconscious much easier.  Though these concepts are things I have been present with many times before, having these externalized representations of my inner shadows helped me to integrate more loving perspectives even more deeply and very quickly.


If creative shadow work is something you'd like to try, even if it's just dressing up as your alter ego in a fun outfit (or even just using a Snapchat filter!), it can be an extremely liberating and aligning experience.  I suggest taking a picture of the look you create as well so that if the shadow energy arises again within your consciousness at a later time you can refer to your picture and remember, It's just a persona.


It's not who YOU actually are.  You are the awareness underneath.  If you can simply look at your dark side, you have the power to change it back into the light.  In the words of Carl Jung, "When we are aware of our weaknesses or negative tendencies, we open the opportunity to work on them.”

Sunday Spirituality

I grew up going to church with my family almost every Sunday.  We went to both Catholic and Baptist churches due to my parents differing denominational preferences.  A consistent problem I had as a child in church was that I hardly ever desired to actually listen to the messages the priests or ministers would give.  I would find myself playing around in the pews and laughing with my little brother before I'd actually think about what was being said.  


Every now and then, the guilt of not paying attention would kick in, mostly because I was being disciplined by my parents.  I would try to sit and force myself not to zone out or fall asleep (8am mass is early for a kid!).  Watching the clock would often be the only glimpse of hope I had to get back into my childly flow. 


Of course, now I understand very clearly that as a child I was quite naturally tapping into the only frequncies I needed- flow, fun, bliss.  


These aspects of my experience weren't limited to church time though, they were basically constant, until I was given a responsibility of some kind that was deemed to be more "important".  


I watched my family for years go to church, and though I personally have nothing against it, it made me realize a few things about the way that many in our collective consciousness tend to view spirituality.  I call it "Sunday Spirituality".


Big Guy In the Sky

A common theme in "Sunday Spirituality" is God wants me to do something that I don't want to do.  


One example I commonly witnessed: "I have to go to church today even if I don't feel like it because it's what God wants me to do!"


You could also phrase it like this "I have to act against my resonance, to go somewhere that is going to teach me how to follow my resonance."  Makes no sense.


The notion is basically that there is an authority figure that has a desire for your life and if that desire isn't fulfilled, then you're in BIG trouble!  


Believe it or not, I don't just see this theme in organized religion.  There are still lots of traces of this energy in New Age groups.  Only instead of God wanting you to do something, it's the obsession with staying positive.  Any negative thought being looked at as a stain on your experience that needs to be expunged immediately! Or what if.. God forbid.. it might manifest itself?! 


I've seen this perspective lead to repression and numbness in quite a few people because they are so repulsed by negative thoughts that they end up attracting negative thoughts about their negative thoughts!!


These folks don't even get a chance to learn the lessons the thought process could teach because they won't even look at the thought.  They end up feeling totally miserable on the inside, but they're smiling and saying "Namaste!" on the outside.  


The authority figure represents a paradigm that I think is worth pointing out.


It's what you do that matters, not what you feel.  And even more dissonant It's what it looks like to others that you do, not what you do or what you feel. 


This is a common subconscious belief that arises when one is constantly looking for approval from this authority figure.  Because the authority figure isn't actually what "God" or the Universal Consciousness is, most of the time the stand-in is the community you're surrounded with.  The community of enforcers or judging eyes is cause enough for you to want to display yourself as "having it together" or "walking the path"- usually by following some set of rules.  


The emphasis goes from your state of being, (the only thing the universe interprets from you) to how whatever you're doing looks to other people (literally doesn't matter at all).


God a.k.a. Awareness, Consciousness, I AM existence...  has no desire for anything from you but to experience itself through you.  That means, that right now you are already 100% doing God's will because you exist.  So basically,  you can check that off your list. 


If God were really an authority figure in the sky, why would he want you to follow rules for him/her to be happy? Do you believe that a being of infinite love and light would actually NEED anything? 


Awareness Touches Everything.

How you perceive life affects every single thing you do and experience.  Right now, you only know you are reading a blog post on your computer, written by a girl named Chloe because your perception of reality is telling you so.  


When we acknowledge the omnipotence and omnipresence of awareness, this is the same thing as saying everything is spiritual.  


Awareness is the drawing board for all of life and creation.  When you change a belief about something, everything in your life changes around your new awareness.  


"Sunday Spirituality" creates a focus on your awareness on Sundays.  Limiting your focus on your perspective to only when you go to church, or have a meditation, or go to a retreat doesn't actually change your life very much.  These are simply temporary permission slips you are giving yourself to feel a little better for a little while. 


But what about when someone cuts you off in traffic? Or you get fired? Or when you have anything happen that isn't the lovey dovey compartmentalized spiritual experience you've been having? 


Then what? 


By practicing awareness of your perspective all the time, and learning to shift to a more desirable state of being, you can begin to truly embody the infinite ability you have to bring your personal brand of Heaven here to Earth!  



Flow is Church

When we get into the flow, there's no need to get dressed up, or pay for parking, or read an ancient text- though the flow doesn't necessarily exclude these things, it just doesn't require them.  


The irony of my childhood churchgoing experience was that I was being exactly what every teacher in those settings was alluding to, flowing in love and light.  BUT because it didn't LOOK like the typical churchgoing experience, it was problematic.  The real reason for this is that the emphasis in those settings was to revere the rules even more highly than the reason the rules were created in the first place.


Now, as an adult, when I get into this state of being, everything is a teacher.  Relationships, mundane responsibilities, emotions, ALL OF IT.


Being in the flow is like always being at church, except at my church I am also free to do things like: practice levitating objects, transmute sexual energy into creation, say 'fuck' if I'm feeling like it, be really irreverent and basically whatever I want that's fun (no rules).  


I prioritize flow over rules and structure every day of the week, because  I know that flow will always lead me to a higher understanding of myself, which in turn leads to a higher understanding of how I can contribute to the world. 


Flowing is Allowing

"There's only two things: well-being and resistance to it," Abraham-Hicks said this, and she's right.  You can't go somewhere and get the flow, it's something you simply allow into your experience. 


One of my favorite exercises to tap into the flow is below.  This is a foundational practice and is the first exercise I teach in my courses because of how profound of a shift it can create when used frequently.  I often compare this exercise to giving yourself a blank canvas on which you can paint your life.  I use this to simply allow the natural well-being that is uninhibited existence to come to the surface, so that I can draw from the infinite flow of inspiration, love, and guidance. 


The more you practice this, the more you will feel comfortable staying in this state of being no matter what is occurring around you.  Eventually, creating an unshakeable ability to remain in tact emotionally and connected to your flow.


"Be Still" Exercise: 


  • Step 1:  Become present by allowing your current stream of thoughts to pass you by until you stop noticing them.  No need to pay attention to any thoughts in particular, just allow yourself to feel that you are here, you are alive. The state of presence will feel quite spacious and open.  Common sensations while in this state are tingling, effervescence, and weightlessness.  
  • Tip #1: Don't think about being present, just feel it.  
  • Tip #2:  As thoughts pass, notice how you are observing your thoughts.  You are obviously not your thoughts, if you are able to observe them.  Notice your inner stillness, as this inner stillness is accessible at anytime you wish to access it.  By becoming familiar with it, you are able to more and more easily access inner calm. 
  • Step 2: Notice how from this state of presence you can easily focus upon any object of your choosing.  You can shift from this spacious presence to a laser focused awareness at the drop of a hat.  You can become aware of a thought, a feeling, a sound, or anything in your immediate environment.  


Most importantly, what flow allows is the ability to transcend having to think about what spirituality is or looks like.  You can be open to defining what spirituality means to you based on your unique footprint in creation on a moment-to-moment basis.  


Who knows, maybe one day your flow will lead you to go to church or to a retreat, but imagine how good it'll feel when it's a natural byproduct of the love you already feel and not because of a commitment you made to a set of rules.


Infinite love! <3